As The People-Matcher, you are here to step into your full self-expression, while cultivating consistent honesty and belonging in relationships that allow you to share the richness of your inner experience and truth, and model for you how to celebrate your evolving, authentic personhood, even as it unfolds and transforms.

As you transform into a deepening version of The Self-Expresser, you’ll begin to channel your innate creativity and soulfulness into devotion for going after what aligns with you, using your unique gifts, truth and embodiment to contribute meaningfully to your community, rather than distractedly stuck in shame-induced self “improvement” in order to avoid feeling like you won’t disappoint or lose others.

This journey enables you to shift into profound alignment with your most natural self, embracing the value of your magnetic, vibrant presence, and impacting others through your visionary ideas and provocative personal expression.

The Self-Expresser embodies a profound journey from The People-Matcher to a place of self-honest expression.

In the codependent phase, you may find yourself erasing your truest nature and inner experiences over-focus on others and avoid causing them (and yourself) a rupture of relational comfort, alignment and belonging. Unfortunately, in that process, you may end up isolating yourself from experiencing all the aspects of true alignment and belonging that arise on the other side of honest communication and mutual understanding - which includes finding relationships you desire and feel safe in.

When defaulting into the People-Matcher, you may often, unknowingly or compulsively, adjust or “fix” your personality, appearance, values or actions to fit the hopes and needs of others, allowing others to influence what you align and surround yourself with. This self-contortion can manifest into a fearful, chameleonic existence, where your personal expression, desires and fluidity are sacrificed at the altar of external connection and attachment.

The People-Matcher is a learned archetype that exists in the mind, body, heart, and spirit. While you will have your own unique history and experiences that “taught” you this relational safety strategy, it most likely included having your transparency, actions, desires and expression met with rejection, indifference, punishment, or criticism in a caregiver or early relationship of some kind. You may have learned to stay safe inside connections by suppressing what’s true for you - and began adapting to others' desires to avoid feeling “too much.”

As the People-Matcher, you may have learned to morph to what kept that person or people inclusive and accepting of you. Obedience to this forced and false adaptation to someone else’s value-system came at the price of creating relationships and spaces that honored your full, unbound and truest self. In this way, changing yourself felt safer than showing up externally in your truth and experiences, and risk being rejected or disconnected.

The reward for adhering to The People-Matcher archetype? Getting to stay “aligned” (and maintain the attachment to) the family, the friend group, the co-worker community, the romantic relationship.

Transformation into The Self-Expresser occurs when you move towards developing a consistent, day-to-day practice of self-expression and exploration with your life, while building self-security and resilience to navigating alignment and misalignment in relationships (and life) based on your authentic values, despite how other’s feel about your decisions and desires.

Instead of contorting yourself to meet the expectations of others, you learn to recognize and prioritize your own unique creativity, self-expression, and curiosity, in small and big ways, and learn to hold yourself when it challenges others' expectations. By shifting your attention inward and nurturing your own right to fully express yourself in the world and in your relationships, The Self-Expresser transcends this conditioned safety pattern of self-adjustment.

Instead, you begin to alchemize your fear into inner acceptance and empowered self-expression, actively celebrating your individuality in your life and relationships, even when there is ruptures - rather than changing yourself to create repair.

Daily practices that reconnect you with your deepest truths, and small, deliberate steps toward expressing your magnetic nature in spaces you exist in, become a crucial pathway to your evolution.